The One with the Gratitude List.

"Learn to receive what you cannot provide for yourself." - Unknown

Sometimes things happen at exactly the right time. My mom, brother, sister, and sister-in-law will be here in a week and a half. Sometimes, even though life is good, you just need a big ol' hug from your mom.
A few shameless plugs:
I've mentioned it once before, but I thought with time inching closer to the date, there's no harm in sharing again. On March 17, 2011, there will be a benefit concert at the Historic Murray Theatre at 7:30 PM. The event benefits A Good Grief Foundation raising funds for childrens' headstones. Tickets are $10 online and $15 at the door. The concert will include a line-up of outstanding vocalists and performers. Please come if you have the night free. This event really could change lives. You can purchase tickets here. Please, please come. You won't regret it. (I'm singing, too!)

And of course... you should also go get tickets to see A Tale of Two Cities at the Hale. I know, I know. I'm asking a lot of you. But if you do it, I swear I'll love you forever. Plus, I've said it before, and I'll say it again: never in my life have I been more proud of a production. Truly. I am undeniably thrilled to be a part of something like it.
I thought waiting out the funk might be the best way to get rid of it, but the more I thought of it, the more I realized that's never been the answer to anything - to just wait it out. This blog has blessed me with the opinions of the some of the most tender, openhearted people. Thanks to some sound advice from a sweet friend, I decided it was time to take the next step. I started really mapping out what I was going to do in the course of the next few months. I started looking at places to live; I started looking for job opportunities; I cleaned my room; I dyed my hair; I organized my schoolwork; I went running instead of just walking; I wrote a letter; I sent an important email; I studied just a little harder. Can't you see? I'm going to do whatever it takes to get through this.

I have some sweet friends - friends who don't have to ask questions, friends who just know the right way to listen, friends who don't think I'm overreacting when I get emotional, friends who understand the emotions, friends who just sit and let me cry it out, friends who simply offer a listening ear, friends who let me ramble endlessly until I reach an understanding myself, friends who understand that just because I'm crying doesn't mean I am unhappy with my life. These friendships are few and far between, but they absolutely exist. I forget sometimes, and then I am reminded somehow in the nick of time. And I am then reminded - like something new everyday - how lucky I am to be living the life I lead with the people that are in it.

Which brings me to another thought: without even looking for it, I stumbled upon a quote in the wee hours of the morning that could, quite possibly, be the answer to my week-long questionable funk. Gratitude.

"Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend. Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow." - Melody Beattie

Anyone who has read my blog before understands that I don't find it hard to say the things that I am thankful for. It's very easy to sit at a desk and type those words and feel those emotions, but what about actually seeing the things around me that I should have the deepest gratitude for? What about, instead of just talking about them after the fact, feeling them when they happen? What about expressing positivity in the very moment you realize that you are grateful?

I have had a small list of things that I love in the memo application in my cell phone since November. Coming across this list recently has helped me to come up with a challenge for myself this week: list everything that you love and are grateful for in the instant it happens (well, obviously within reason - I can't stop the show to write down every person's name that I'm sharing the stage with, right?). I have friends who literally devote entire blogs to being grateful for things - even tiny, tiny things. What is stopping me from making a mere list?

I realize how cliché and overused this idea may sound. But more importantly, I also realize that this could be the perfect medicine for me right now. And I'm not opposed to doing anything - however coined the idea might be - that heals my little heart.

"He is a wise man who does not grieve for the things which he has not, but rejoices for those which he has." - Epictetus