The One about Maddie.

I really appreciate reflective people. I appreciate when I can sit down with someone and just talk about anything and everything and feel like a better human being when I walk away from the conversation. When I asked Maddie last summer during Joseph rehearsals to room with us when she started at Weber, I had no idea that I was going to have countless meaningful conversations with this sweet girl. I am so grateful for her willingness to humor me and hear me out so often. I have watched her grow up so much in the past year and a half. It's really incredible.Last weekend was interesting. It was filled with all different types of discouragement. And then, the other night when I got home from Logan, Maddie helped me wrap it up and kick the discouragement in the butt. I don't even know if she realizes she did that. And unless she reads this blog, I don't think she ever will realize it. (I could be a good friend and tell her... but what's the fun in that? Let's just find out if she reads this...) I have been through so much with her; she is one of the three people, besides my own mother, to literally hold me when I've cried. (And she was with me when I saw Audra in 110, which is, to this day, the most incredible theatrical experience of my life.) I just really love her.

What's the point of discouragement? Back-handed compliments, talking down to people, or just flat-out saying, "Don't bother," or "Get real." I have my heart set on goals that I want to accomplish in my life. Everyone does. Or everyone should.

As with everyone, there are people around me that attempt to discourage me from my even bothering to obtain goals. When I see this happening, I have to stop and take a look at these people. I ask, "Is this someone who should be in my circle of influence? Can this person really help to guide me to obtain what it is that I am aiming for?" Now, I'm not saying that the only reason I allow people into my "circle of influence" is to boost my personal goals; I'm saying that positivity and encouragement is vital in anyone's life. Anyone that tries to single-handedly push me away from things that I find important is not worth keeping around. I think we could all benefit and afford to recognize that sometimes it's okay to do inventory on the people in your life - throw out the bad and bring in the good. I have so much good in my life; who needs the bad?

I'm going to be a bit of a "theatre dork" and express my absolute love of raw performances. When I see something that is so rooted in the ground, so honest, so filled with adrenaline, I can hardly contain myself (if they're good performers, that is). This has happened only a number of times in my life when I have watched live theatre. It's hearing someone inhale so deeply for the next note they're going to hit; it's the flubs that happen because of adrenaline. I love the humanization of performers.

When I was growing up, my mom would talk about how we should never do things "halfway"... I'm going to be honest right now. I feel very "halfway" in my life right now. I hate saying that. It's only been for the last couple of days; I'm a little sick, so that might be why I don't quite feel 100% as I usually do. I am working, going to school, rehearsing a show and performing for another show. It's a lot. I know I am capable of handling this much at once; but it's hitting me later than I thought it would, and it's taking a little more than a second to really grasp it all. This is a challenge that I am facing and will eventually overcome. I wouldn't trade any of these things I'm doing for anything. I just am really learning how to balance my time, my health, my sleep, my eating habits, my feelings, and my grades, too. I am going to make it through this, and you better believe I will be here with a full report when it happens - with lessons learned from all of it, too.

Okay, seriously? Look at this.

I don't even know whose baby this is. I'm talking about the onesie... from the brilliant mind of my mother. Cute, huh? The baby's pretty precious, too. Go like her page on Facebook.

And speaking of mom... I get to see her in 21 days. I cannot wait.

(Oh, and guess what? My pants are loose. 15 pounds and counting.)