I made it through last week. Barely. And I'm barely making it through this one. How's that for a dramatic start? Seriously, though... I think I'm running on about 7 hours of sleep since Sunday night. It's been unbelievably busy, but even within it all, it's adding a happy little regime to my life.
Over the course of the last week and this one, I have become immensely aware of the effect the food I eat can have on my body, on my voice, on my attitude. I have been very conscious of my food choices, portion sizes, etc. It's strangely therapeutic. Mix that in with my "happy little regime" I mentioned above and things seem pretty balanced right now. I can't say that's been the case for months now.
There are things that I wish would come easily to me. Dancing is one of those things. I feel my insecurities and pacing cripples me as a performer; I feel it will for the rest of my life. I have very strong feelings about this subject (as I do practically any subject I discuss...), and I find myself very frustrated with it, too. I don't talk about it very much... but the minute anything "dancey" shows up, the jig is up. I fear that it quickly comes across as the girl who gets away with being in the musicals simply because she can sing. Kinda sucks. My point is this: things come easily to me. Except for that. I suppose it's the trial I was given to keep me humble.
Tonight is the MWF cast's opening of The Drowsy Chaperone. I cannot wait to have an audience - finally... and with so many sweet people that I know and love sitting there watching. I cannot wait to share with an audience what I've been watching and being a part of since August. It's a cute little present all wrapped up and ready to be opened. I am in love with everything about it.
I get SO nervous opening a show; every single time. (Almost. I think the one time I wasn't nervous was the second time I played Mrs. Darling in Peter Pan.) I hope it stays that way, too. It keeps me on my toes and it certainly contributes to the adrenaline needed for any show. This isn't a particularly large role, but that doesn't really matter. I have gotten to know so many wonderful people and, I'm not going to sell it short, I get to sing an awesome song on an airplane. On a stage. In the air.
I love my job.
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2 comments:
You're amazing. I had no idea you had a blog-I'm adding it to my list of blogs I keep up on. I love hearing your thoughts. I'm so glad I get to be in a show with you before you go. Hang in there. Everything will get less crazy now that you're open. I love you, and I hope you know how incredible you are and how much I idolize you.
I love you. You are so fabulous!
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