The One where I Close Two Shows.

A little secret.

I always have. And probably always will.

The truth is, though, I only like the snow if I'm inside looking at/watching it. Or outside playing in it. I hate walking in it (when I'm in a hurry), and worst of all, I hate driving in it. Driving while wondering when a blizzard might hit, driving while wondering where the lines are on the road, wondering if I am going to hit black ice, getting my car stuck in 18 inches of snow and losing my shoes in it (okay, so I shouldn't have worn flip-flops), my jeans getting soaked, freezing water getting into my shoes - none of these things are very fun.

But it sure is beautiful when I'm snuggled up in a blanket (or Snuggie) and watching it sparkle on the ground outside. I don't know how I went yeeeeears without it in Texas.

So. After evaluating my weight loss goal, I came to a decision that it should increase from 45 pounds lost to 50 pounds lost. That means that NOW, as of this morning, I am officially halfway there.

To anyone who may be concerned when they read this, I want to share that I am going about this in a very healthy way; it's apparent in my energy level - I've never been so energized in my life. Also, 50 pounds lost is a very attainable goal for someone like me. I won't disgust anyone - myself included - by sharing what my starting weight was or even what my goal weight is. What will matter when I finally get there is what I look and feel like. I am working very hard to reach that goal weight by the beginning or middle of February.

Since my last post two weeks ago, I have closed two shows. Besides summer stock, I have never been in two shows at once. It was quite the long-haul, but it was so worth it. That's what today's post will mostly be about: the things that I learned and received from The Drowsy Chaperone and Five Carols for Christmas.

I'll start with Drowsy.

The day before auditions, I remember saying, "I don't think I'm going to audition." We were closing Annie Get Your Gun, and a little piece of me was okay with the idea of a break until school started. And then, like every performer has, there was the fear of another rejection. Of course I also wondered, "Is there even a part for me in that show?"

In my mind, Trix was the only feasible role I could even remotely see myself playing, and that was only a possibility if the producers and directors were willing to overlook the whole racial factor. When I got to callbacks, I almost turned right around and went home. I almost let my assumptions disallow me an opportunity. When I was cast, I was beyond thrilled. The rehearsal process was relaxing, yet driven. I can honestly say that I have never been a part of such a positive theatre experience.

Through my being a part of Drowsy, I met some people that I now consider dear friends: Ames and Emily, Anne, Kelly, John, Cory, Greg... really, everyone. The positivity, the friendliness, and, my goodness, THE TALENT that existed in this cast was a huge blessing to be a part of. We formed quite the sweet little theatre family.

On top of that, I was able to experience all of this with my best friend.

I find such comfort in being around him. As is always the case, he is a refuge for me. Whether I need it or not, I just know it's always there. I am so grateful for that.

Also, this experience is what started to spin my weight loss into motion. I won't go into much detail, but... in a roundabout and very summarized explanation, I saw potentiality, and I decided it was time to grab the bull by the horns and do something about it. After all, I'm the only one who can do anything about it.

Five Carols for Christmas was my last show at Weber State University.

It was a very tender show to end on... with four of the most incredible ladies, each one very near and dear to my heart. How often does it happen that you get to play for two and a half months nonstop with your best girlfriends? I laughed so much, played so much and learned even more. I was also so honored to work with one of the most amazing music directors; his appreciation and understanding of the music he, himself, created offered so much to the show. I can't forget Jim, either. It's impossible for me to form the words to express my indebtedness to this man; I followed him to Weber so that I could be trained by him. I have him to thank for teaching me how to belt; I have him to thank for teaching me levels of discipline and professionalism; the man has listened to me cry and complain and work through so many emotions. He is the ultimate mentor.

I am so overjoyed that my (almost) final chapter at Weber State closed with such a sweet show.

I wouldn't trade my experience of either of these shows for anything. I feel so incredibly lucky to have these experiences under my belt, and I can't wait for my next adventure.