I struggle with the outlooks of a lot of people in theatre. Aside from people's unbelievable sense of entitlement, I really have a hard time understanding the unwillingness to compliment one another in this "business." It's almost like it's been ingrained into the brains (and hearts, for that matter) of "theatre people" that compliments toward our fellow performers is a bad thing; that if we do it, we are somehow saying, "You're better than me."
Even if we were saying that by giving a compliment, which I don't think is necessarily the case, what's wrong with someone being better at something than you? And more importantly, what's wrong with having a hand in making someone feel better about himself or herself?
We so willingly dish out the criticism. We so willingly give our opinions on how things should be. Why not so willingly compliment someone on something they've done well or something they've worked hard at?
I suppose I'm calling the kettle black, though. I'm not the best at applying this practice. I could do so much better, but I'm really trying. Everyday. Amazingly enough, when I take the time to point out the admirable qualities other people have, my life is more positive.
I understand wanting to be taken seriously when you do compliment someone, but I don't think the line is particularly thin. I think a person with any common sense can figure out when it looks like they're blowing smoke. This is not my cry for more compliments in any way, shape or form; this is just something I have observed and been frustrated with for some time. I see it happen almost everyday. It's a very negative way to be a part of something as wonderful as theatre.
Now, something I'm certainly not very good at is accepting compliments. I think that's something else that has been perforated into the human brain... to accept a compliment is to be arrogant. I've even taught myself that. Someone asked me last week if I had a "compliment filter" - if I just had a blocker that made me unable to even hear compliments. That's sad. And ungracious. I think we could all learn so much about ourselves (and others) by getting out of that funk.
Do you have an exact moment when you realized what you wanted to do for the rest of your life? I have been thinking about it so much lately. I have one, single solitary moment that helped spin my future. It's so cool to think about. Because of one moment, one thought, my life is going a certain way. If that moment hadn't existed, I probably wouldn't be in Utah at Weber State University; I wouldn't know some of the wonderful people I know. And I wouldn't even know what I was missing. I love thinking about that.
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3 comments:
I don't have anything profound to offer; just my agreement. The paradox of feeling entitled to success - whether or not you've earned it - along with false modesty, is very frustrating. WE should be able to acknowledge our strengths, and realize that there's a place for ALL of us in the grand scheme of things. And yes, I do have the one single moment :)
Loved reading your thoughts on this, Angela.
I'm curious to hear about that one single moment that changed the course of your life. What was it?
This was an awesome blog Angie...you should do VLOGS? I think they would be fun! But I agree with you. So many times I've noticed people fishing for compliments not because they were vain or they wanted to hear that they were the best actors in the whole company but because they wanted some reassurance that what they thought was a good performance was actually a good performance. Great topic!
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