The First One.

I'm not very good at keeping things like this up. I think the last time I had anything like this was as a junior in high school. Does anyone else remember how cool Xanga.com was back in 2004/2005? Everyone had one. I think.

...

Okay. I confess. I actually just went to Xanga.com and found my old blog... luckily, all the posts are private now. My last post was when I was at BYU-Idaho in February of 2006. Holy moley... I was annoying. I used the phrase "hoot and a half" about a hundred times. I must've thought I was a seventy-year-old woman. I wonder at what point blogs that go that ignored get deleted from the web entirely. I wouldn't mind... but at the same time, it's very interesting to go back and read the petty things I let control my life, my moods, etc.

I'm so fascinated with how things are playing out in my life right now. I have never, EVER been this busy before. I literally have only Sundays to myself. Every second of every other day of the week is full of activities, schoolwork, rehearsals, work, you name it. In fact, starting a blog right now is probably not the wisest decision, but I fully intend on keeping this as up-to-date as possible.

I love being busy, though. Really. And I hate not having anything to do. I actually throw myself pity parties when I'm not busy. When I don't have anything to do, it's like my heart is giving me permission to get sad and lonely. So... staying busy is ultimately the best thing I could possibly be doing for myself. And I'm well enough to not need those pity parties.

I miss my family dearly. The unconditional love that I feel from them blows me away. Their support, their honesty, their love is more than I could ever ask for. I don't talk to them nearly as often as I should but I absolutely think about them everyday. Little things here and there remind me of them. I love that.

I love having a sister whose personality sparkles.
I love having a brother that I can call my own personal hero.
I love having a sister-in-law who makes me laugh.
I love having a dad who says "I love you" more than anyone I know, who has such a huge heart.
And I love having a mom that I can call my best friend.

Can I just say how much I love theatre? I have always loved it, but as time goes on, I grow more and more fond of it. Being in "Drowsy" has definitely pushed the love-level up about a zillion notches. Every aspect of it is such a positive experience. And I'm learning so much about how to choose to be in a rehearsal process. How much I learn, how much I take from it, how much I contribute to it, how positive it is... it's a choice.

That being said, come see it, okay? It's playing at the Hale Centre Theatre in West Valley. I'm in the MWF (and Saturday 12:30 matinee) cast. The MWF shows play at 7:30 PM, and our opening is October 6th. The show is incredibly charming. And maybe I'm biased, but the cast is pretty incredible, too. If you come see it, and you don't love it, I'll give you a dollar. Deal?

I am a senior. And I am sad to say that I have severe "senioritis". I love Weber with all my little heart. I'm just... done with school. I am so close that I can taste it. I've been in school for eight semesters; this in my ninth. Finally, five years of school will be more than enough. For now. (Do I see graduate school in the future? Absolutely. But not for a little while.)

I have so many goals for my future that it's a little scary to step back and look at the mile-long list before me. Goals for tomorrow, goals for this week, goals for this month, goals for this year, goals for the rest of my life. But that's what drives me everyday. When we wake up, aren't we all just pursuing our personal goals, however temporary/current they might be? I refuse to be stagnant.

This all sounds more philosophical than you'd probably like to hear - consider this your warning... chances are, this blog will remain reflective and thoughtful and even theoretical. It's therapeutic. Everyone has something, right?