The One about Expecting the Best.

It's probably 80 degrees in this office right now. I would rather be freezing than sweating like this. At this point, I've only been here for 13 minutes, and I've already stepped outside... twice. Funny thing is, I was actually just thinking as I was walking into work, "I want it to not be cold anymore." Okay, Angela. Here you go. UGH. I'm sorry, Universe. I'll take the 13 degrees outside, thank you.

And since we're mentioning "Universe", what better time to talk about it? I have this really, really awful habit of taking a situation and expecting the absolute worst thing to happen. I know I'm not the only person to ever do this, but I also know it's a flaw in my everyday life. I feel terrible for the countless people who sit and listen to me talk circles around a dilemma. SO many people. And of course, 99% of the time, things end rather nicely instead of going the awful road I'd insisted that it take. I'm going to admit something that I'm a little embarrassed about: once, in a deep conversation, I actually gave someone the advice, "Always expect the worst, and you won't be disappointed."

Although there is an element of truth to that statement, and I meant well when I said it, it is not a truth that I want to live by. "Always expecting the worst" deprives us of the opportunity to learn. If we expect the worst, then what is to be gained from not getting it? Nothing. When we expect the worst, we are also depriving ourselves of another beautiful opportunity: HOPE. Why do you think posters and placards and decorations and billboards and speeches and songs and poetry and plays so often express that single word? It's not a joke. Hope is absolutely one of the greatest gifts I think we have been given as individuals. Why on Earth would we reject that gift by "expecting the worst." Hope is completely gone in that case. I suppose that's why the statement "Plan for the worst, and hope for the best," is so popular. It may not be the most positive statement, but it's a step up from our hated "always expect the worst."

I understand that disappointments will come; I understand that I do have to face reality. And I have been disappointed, and it's pushed me down a long, awful road that takes a long time to recover from. Obviously expecting the worst isn't working very well.

My new mantra is this: Expect the best and hope for even better.

It's not naive; it's positive. And I am always aiming for more positivity.

A perfect segue: I haven't officially shared my weight loss progress in a little while.

I have been working out at least four times a week, as I aimed for in my last post. More recently - as in the last two days - I've become a bit obsessed. Last week, I went running in the neighborhood, slipped on the ice, and fell right on my backside. I already had a faulty hip; that fall didn't help at all. So, I justified that fall by buying Wii Fit Plus. I love it. Now, whether my roommates love it or hate it because of the noise it makes on the hardwood floor in the living room... that's something else entirely.

I never realized that, as time went on and I got closer and closer to graduation, people would constantly ask, "What are your plans after you graduate?" But it's been non-stop - since the semester started, especially. I have honestly said my plans out loud probably 40 times in the past month or so. No exaggeration.

So. The plans? I've expressed that I want to move from Ogden to Salt Lake after I graduate. That's still in store. I hope to continue to build my resumé with opportunities here in Utah and then get on with it.

By the time 2013 hits, I want to be packed and ready to move to New York.

I'm going to do everything I absolutely can to get this. I have had countless dreams and imaginations about this place. I have cried because I ache for it. I have squealed out loud when I'm alone just because I think about it. I want city. I want New York City. I want to make a performing career in New York City. More than I've ever wanted anything in my entire life. And I expect to get it.

As I aim for this, I have to remind myself all along the way: Expect the best and hope for even better. What could possibly be any better?